What are your H/D squicks?

[lomonaaeren]

I'm talking about squicks specific to Harry/Draco fic here (like a certain type of characterization), rather than to squicks that could apply across the board (like bad grammar or spelling).



1) Reading a fic in which the author portrays "bottom" as meaning "weak." Just ugh. So the minute Harry and Draco get into bed, even if the one bottoming has been strong, argumentative, complex, and equal to the other up until that point, now he must start crying and being scared of penetration and doing whatever the one topping tells him to do even if he's uncomfortable with it? I know there's a power dynamics to sexual relationships, but stripping it down to power and only power bores and disgustes me. In extreme cases where the one on the bottom is also very feminized, I think there's more than a hint of misogyny. Women can never be powerful unless they're the ones penetrating men? The penis is almighty? Please.

I don't mind stories where, say, Draco finds more pleasure in bottoming, or where Harry or Draco has a psychological quirk that inclines them to one or the other. Even there, though, I want it to fit in with previously established characterization. If Harry and Draco are perfect equals out of the bedroom and then suddenly have a D/s relationship inside it with no prior hint of that, simply because the author assumes the bottom is less powerful and under the control of the top, I'm clicking the back button.

2) This one is more nebulous. I can't really call it "one flawed character, one perfect character" because I've seen stories where both Harry and Draco were flawed that still hit this squick for me. Maybe I'll call it "one character hopelessly mistaken, the other always right." In any case, what happens is that the author sets one character on a pedestal and makes the other one into a hopeless mess as he chases the idolized one, dragging him relentlessly through past mistakes, making him apologize for the most minor things, cursing him with awkwardness at tasks he can do perfectly well, and treating mistakes as deadly and unforgivable until he's groveled and pleaded. It seems to happen more often that Draco is the perfect one, and Harry is the one who has to do something to "deserve" him, but I suspect that's not true and it's simply that I've run into more stories that do it; I've seen it the other way around, too, and it squicks me just as hard. Now, in canon they've both made mistakes, but saying that Harry must apologize and grovel and never be good enough for the author's perfect, beautiful, snarky, witty Draco because he used Sectumsempra on him, while it's just fine that Draco almost killed Harry's best friend (if you want to limit it to events in the same book), strikes me as deeply silly. The excuse I've seen offered is "Well, Draco didn't mean to kill Ron, he was trying to kill Dumbledore!" And Harry didn't know what that spell did; it's not like he lingered down the corridor rubbing his hands together, cackling gleefully, and imagining Draco all over blood. If you're going to focus heavily on the canon mistakes that will keep Harry and Draco from an easy relationship with each other, why in the world is it limited to one side?

I suspect that, in the end, this squick is largely the same as the other for me: I want to see Harry and Draco have an equal relationship, and the author weakening one or idolizing one prevents that from happening.



What are your H/D squicks?

Comments

[bobpotter.livejournal.com]

As a gay guy I can say with experience that being a bottom is one of the greatest joys there is to our sex and it feels fantastic. It is not uncommon for the bottom to have an orgasm while being taken. It feels that good! As to power matters of who is top or bottom, in reality for gays it does not go that way. Power has nothing to do with it. For lovers near the same age usually we take turns (often fighting to be bottom!). It is not uncommon with generational lovers, the younger 'boy' is usually a bottom as it fits with the daddy complex the relationship is based on. I've known femme tops and butch body builders who love to only be on bottom. You really can't tell looking at someone what is their preference. Another important dynamic is the people involved and the endowment. Usually the male with the bigger tool tops as it provides the greatest enjoyment for his lover. A smaller penis is actually more painful than someone hung after you get adjusted to the size.

As to character's weaknesses, it is expected. That is character development and a very important part of a story. I also find my favorite stories have a main character who I quickly care for and have sympathy for. Two lovers can both be strong and mentally stable and it will be a good story and true to the real world as well as opposites in love.

[kestrelsparhawk.livejournal.com]

Thanks for commenting! I'd been trying to think of a way to explain that "top" and "bottom" may mean something about power to many people, but their basic function is to describe what someone likes/wants to/generally does in bed. It doesn't seem that hard a concept to think about -- any more than "I like my nipples played with." "Really? Mine just aren't very sensitive." would be a way to identify butch and femme for women... unless the participants WANTED it to mean butch/femme, but that's a different rant.

I actually dropped in just to ask a question -- you said a smaller penis is actually more painful? Why? That does go against what I would assume.

[bobpotter.livejournal.com]

The pleasure comes from the rubbing of the prostrate gland. A small penis does not reach it, and that pleasure is lost. All you have is the motion of repeating penetrations without the sensation from the prostrate which can cause an orgasm without being touched. Also it is more difficult in the heat of sex to maintain safe entrance without jabbing about with a small penis. Sorry for all the details, but you asked.

[kestrelsparhawk.livejournal.com]

I did ask -- and I did want details! You sounded like someone who could answer directly in your first entry -- and you did. Thanks! Makes sense.

[lomonaaeren.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you talked about this; it's fascinating. I wonder if the very large proportion of female authors in slash fandom leads to an engagement with power dynamics that, while often interesting, sometimes overrides the portrayal of actual gay sex for a commentary on the way heterosexual roles work. If sex is power and only power, it's not exciting for women sleeping with men, but I don't think it's exciting for fictional men sleeping with men, either.

I love flawed characters. But what I seem to encounter a lot these days are character who have cosmetic flaws, like quick tempers, but never actually make mistakes. That's very annoying.