lomonaaeren | Entries tagged with humor

Title: A Cacophony of Love and Violence
Pairings: Harry/Theo
Content Notes: Ignores the epilogue, Hogwarts “eighth year,” violence, drama, angst, outsider POV, courting traditions, gore
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Theodore Nott has fallen in love with Harry Potter and decided to court him with the most solemn and violent of pureblood traditions. The biggest surprise is that Harry Potter has fallen in love back and fully accepted the courtship. And everyone around them has to deal with it.
Author’s Notes: This story is part of my “More Harry/Theo in the World Project” series of short fics. LawfulEvil gave me a prompt that is basically the summary, although with a few details changed. This will have a second part, to be posted next week.

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Title: The Furtherance of Unicorn Conservation and Knowledge
Pairings: Gen, other than mentions of minor canon ships
Content Notes: Ignores the epilogue, humor, rich Harry, magical creatures, angst, present tense, discussion of animal harm
Rating: PG-13
Summary: After the war, Harry determines that the only people who have never truly betrayed him or spoken against him are unicorns. However, their numbers are declining in Britain. Harry decides that he will start a movement to rescue them, using all the millions of Galleons that Sirius left him. And if he can rescue other innocent magical creatures while he’s at it? He’ll do that, too!
Author’s Notes: This is part of my “From Litha to Lammas” series of chaptered fics being posted between the summer solstice and the first of August. It should have three to five chapters. It’s somewhat of a parody of the genre where Harry is a billionaire and decides to change the world with his money, and everyone wants to steal from him/betray him. If you are looking for seriousness, you are in the wrong place. Just look at the title, for one thing.

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Title: I Have Been a Brother to O.W.L.S
Disclaimer: J. K. Rowling and associates own these characters. I am writing this story for fun and not profit.
Pairing: Gen, except for a few mentions of canon pairings
Content Notes: AU (Harry is Lord Slytherin), violence, discussion of past character deaths, bigotry, present tense, ridiculousness
Rating: PG-13
Summary: The second half of his fifth year means that Harry has to take his OWLS, which are a matter of great concern to him. But the world, with its magical creatures and Muggleborns who need help, corrupt Ministry, and stupid Voldemort, still spins on.
Author’s Notes: This is my next “Lordship Business” fic, which I didn’t get to during the latest seasonal story arc. It’s the sequel to my stories “Confusion Is Mine, Saith the Lord,” “Thou Shalt Have No Tournaments Before Me,” and “Of a Sweet Nonsense Unto the Lord.” Make sure that you read those first; otherwise, this won’t make any sense. The title is a twist on the Bible quote, “I have been a brother to dragons and a companion to owls.” I plan to post a scene or a few scenes from this fic every day until it’s finished.

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Title: Truth Is Wilder
Disclaimer: J. K. Rowling and associates own these characters. I am writing this story for fun and not profit.
Pairing: Mostly gen, background mention of James/Lily
Content Notes: AU (Harry is not the Boy-Who-Lived), mentions of violence, Harry gets away from the Dursleys, present tense, humor, trauma, implied child abuse, angst, minor character death
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: This part 4500
Summary: Harry has always known he was a Squib child left with his aunt and uncle, and that his parents are still alive, and that he won’t receive a Hogwarts letter. What only he seems to know was that he has magic; it’s just wild and does what it wants and refuses to show up for most people who have tried to investigate it. Harry leaves the Dursleys’ house at eleven to go find a way to tame his magic, while his twin, David Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived, starts his first year at Hogwarts.
Author’s Notes: This is one of my “From Samhain to the Solstice” fics being posted between Halloween and the winter solstice. It should have several chapters. Please note that it alternates between humor and seriousness, and Harry has an odd perspective, so the tone may be odd as well. This came from thinking about what ‘wild magic” means and deciding to do a different take on it.

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Title: Adoration Made Manifest
Disclaimer: J. K. Rowling and associates own these characters. I am writing this story for fun and not profit.
Pairing: Harry/Draco/Astoria, background Draco/Astoria
Content Notes: Ignores the epilogue, mild angst, flirting
Rating: : PG-13
Wordcount: 1700
Summary: Harry didn’t know exactly when he had begun to admire Draco Malfoy and Astoria Greengrass—together and apart. It was one of those facts of life he just existed within, bearing like his scars. He never thought they might want something more than each other, until one night at a Ministry dance.
Author’s Notes: This is one of my “Songs of the Stormy Season” one-shots being posted between Halloween and the winter solstice.

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Title: The Earth, the Sky
Disclaimer: J. K. Rowling and associates own these characters. I am writing this story for fun and not profit.
Pairing: Harry/Luna
Content Notes: Ignores the epilogue, mild angst, present tense, mention of past character deaths and torture
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 2800
Summary: Harry steps outside on a sunlit morning during the rebuilding of Hogwarts and meets his future.
Author’s Notes: This is one of my “Songs of the Stormy Season” one-shots being posted between Halloween and the winter solstice.

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Title: An Ivory Discretion
Disclaimer: J. K. Rowling and associates own these characters. I am writing this for fun and not profit.
Pairing: Voldemort/Harry, background pairings
Rating: R
Content Notes: AU (Voldemort wins), power imbalance, casual sex, rough sex, mentions of violence and torture
Wordcount: This part 3200
Summary: In a world where Voldemort rules, he runs into the seemingly guileless Harry Potter at a party, and likes what he sees enough to invite Harry to his bed. Harry is enthusiastic about the sex but assumes there is no emotional connection, and tries to maintain his emotional distance from the Dark Lord. This is easier said than done; they keep running into each other, and Voldemort finds himself being seduced as much by Harry’s soul as his body.
Author’s Notes: This is one of my “Songs of Summer” stories that I’m posting between the summer solstice and the first of August. It’s in answer to a request from certifiedwitch; the summary is basically the prompt. It will most likely have three parts.

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Title: Of a Sweet Nonsense Unto the Lord
Disclaimer: J. K. Rowling and associates own these characters. I am writing this story for fun and not profit.
Pairing: Gen, except for a few mentions of canon pairings
Content Notes: AU (Harry is Lord Slytherin), violence, discussion of past character deaths, bigotry, present tense, ridiculousness
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: This part 4800
Summary: In his fifth year as “Lord Slytherin,” Harry is training with his followers, dealing with an overprotective godfather, combating the stupidity of the Ministry, trying to pass his OWLS, keeping Hogwarts students safe, and practicing Quidditch (Oliver would never forgive him if he didn’t). As if that’s not enough, he also has the Thestral Publicity Program.
Author’s Notes: This is one of my “From Litha to Lammas” chaptered fics being posted between the summer solstice and the first of August. This will probably have six to seven chapters, and is the sequel to my stories “Confusion Is Mine, Saith the Lord” and “Thou Shalt Have No Tournaments Before Me.” Make sure that you read those first; otherwise, this won’t make any sense. The title is a twist on the Bible quote, “Of a sweet savor unto the Lord.’

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Title: Ebony Houses
Disclaimer: J. K. Rowling and associates own these characters. I am writing this story for fun and not profit.
Pairing: Harry/Nott Sr.
Content Notes: AU (Slytherin Harry), Dark Lord Harry, drama, mentions of torture and violence, minor character deaths, references to child abuse, present tense, underage
Rating: R
Wordcount: This part 3300
Summary: AU. Harry missed Ron on the train, but met Theo, and was Sorted into Slytherin. He’s wary enough of Theo’s father to spend some of the holidays at Hogwarts, but meets Justinian Nott during his third year. It’s fascination at first sight.
Author’s Notes: This is one of my “Songs of Summer” short fics being posted between the summer solstice and the first of August. A few different people gave me the prompt for Harry being paired with Theo’s father. This should have four parts.

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Title: Deny Thy Despair and Refuse They Drama
Disclaimer: J. K. Rowling and associates own these characters. I am writing this story for fun and not profit.
Pairing: Ron/Harry/Draco, Ron/Draco
Content Notes: Ignores the epilogue, angst, drama, humor, present tense
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 8200 (total)
Summary: After the war, Draco and Ron are desperately attracted to each other, but are also obsessed with baiting each other and reenacting the feud between their families. Harry mediates between them, because otherwise the drama will never end and the dating will never begin. He also is ignoring his own attraction both of them, because that doesn’t matter, surely.
Author’s Notes: This is one of my “Songs of Summer” short stories being posted between the summer solstice and the first of August. It’s for Kyatnixx, who graciously allowed me to use her prompt for ridiculousness. The title is a twist on a Romeo and Juliet quote.

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Title: Pegasus Feathers
Disclaimer: J. K. Rowling and associates own these characters. I am writing this story for fun and not profit.
Pairing: Harry/Theo
Content Notes: Hogwarts “eighth year,” angst, present tense
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 7700 (total)
Summary: Harry brews a potion that will show him the face of someone he can be happy with.
Author’s Notes: This is one of my “Songs of Summer” one-shots being posted between the summer solstice and the first of August. The second part will be posted tomorrow.

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Title: Thou Shalt Have No Tournaments Before Me
Disclaimer: J. K. Rowling and associates own these characters. I am writing this story for fun and not profit.
Pairing: Mostly gen, mentions of Ron/Hermione
Content Notes: Angst, present tense, humor, minor violence, AU after second year, “Lord Slytherin” Harry
Wordcount: This part 4200
Summary: Sequel to “Confusion Is Mine, Saith the Lord.” Harry has a great summer, but it seems fourth year is going to be more complicated, what with more people trying to be his minions, the Ministry intent on using him, Quidditch canceled, and revelations coming out about his personal life that Harry doesn’t care for. Oh, and the Ministry wants him to grant permission as Lord Slytherin to hold a death tournament at Hogwarts. Harry doesn’t see why he should do that.
Author’s Notes: This is one of my “From Samhain to the Solstice” fics, chaptered stories being posted between Halloween and the winter solstice. This will probably have five chapters or so. This is a sequel to “Confusion Is Mine, Saith the Lord,” as requested by several people, and part of “This Lordship Business” series. Read the first part, or this won’t make sense. Like that first part, the title here is a play on a Bible quote.

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Title: Forever, Undying
Disclaimer: J. K. Rowling and associates own these characters. I am writing this story for fun and not profit.
Pairing: Harry/Oliver Wood
Content Notes: Ignores the epilogue, Quidditch player Harry, present tense
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 1000
Summary: Puddlemere United has lost their first game to the Falmouth Falcons since Oliver Wood became their Keeper. Oliver’s trainer isn’t pleased.
Author’s Notes: This is one of my “Solstitial Shorts” fics, very short stories being posted between Halloween and the winter solstice.

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Title: The Best Gala Ever
Disclaimer: J. K. Rowling and associates own these characters. I am writing this story for fun and not profit.
Pairing: Harry/Theo
Content Notes: Mild angst, established relationship, present tense, ignores the epilogue
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 1200
Summary: Harry is tired of being asked on dates by people who want nothing more from him than his fame, so he shows up to the latest Ministry gala wearing a flashy emerald ring on his finger that he bought himself. Various people have something to say about that.
Author’s Notes: This is one of my “Solstitial Shorts” fics, very short stories being posted between Halloween and the winter solstice.

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Title: Beyond the Sacred
Disclaimer: J. K. Rowling and associates own these characters. I am writing this story for fun and not profit.
Pairing: Mentions of background canon pairings, otherwise gen
Content Notes: Hogwarts “eighth year,” humor, parody, present tense
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 4300
Summary: Members of the “Sacred Twenty-Eight”: “Don’t you wish you were sacred like me?” Harry: “Not really, no.”
Author’s Notes: This is one of my “Songs of the Stormy Season” one-shots being posted between Halloween and the winter solstice. It mocks the concept of the Sacred Twenty-Eight that I’ve seen treated ultra-seriously in some fics, so if you really like that concept, this is not the fic for you.

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Title: Just Another Damn Thing About Being Harry Potter
Disclaimer: J. K. Rowling and associates own these characters. I am writing this story for fun and not profit.
Pairing: Gen
Content Notes: Ignores the epilogue, angst, Harry is a Lestrange, Metamorphmagus Harry Potter, discussion of past character deaths, non-linear narrative
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 4100
Summary: It comes out after the war that Harry is the son of Bellatrix and Rodolphus Lestrange, adopted by the Potters as a baby after a battle in which his parents Apparated out and left him behind. It seems everybody has Opinions about who he is. Harry thinks he’ll continue deciding who he is for himself, thanks.
Author’s Notes: This is one of my “Songs of the Stormy Season” series, one-shots being posted between Halloween and the winter solstice. It’s based on a request from serpen_sortia for a fic where Harry finds out he’s not a Potter, and where he’s a Metamorphmagus if he’s related to the Blacks. Hope you enjoy.

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Title: Sunflowers and Roses
Disclaimer: J. K. Rowling and associates own these characters. I am writing this story for fun and not profit.
Pairing: Harry/Neville
Content Notes: Hogwarts “eighth year,” humor, fluff, present tense
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 1100
Summary: Someone is sending Harry bouquets of flowers that apparently have special meaning in floriography. Harry enlists Neville’s help in deciphering the latest one.
Author’s Notes: This is one of my “Solstitial Shorts,” shorter fics being posted between Halloween and the winter solstice. Also, some of these flower meanings are completely made up, because I can do that.

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Title: Harry Potter’s Life Contains Too Many Vampires
Disclaimer: J. K. Rowling and associates own these characters. I am writing this story for fun and not profit.
Pairing: Harry/OMC
Content Notes: AU after the Third Task, discussion of past torture and character death, vampires, angst, humor
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: This part 3100
Summary: Sequel to “Lord Voldemort’s Life Consists of “What?”” Neville invites Harry to join him in visiting a vampire Court on the Continent during the summer after fourth year. Harry, thinking that he might be able to gain tips on making himself a tougher enemy for Voldemort to fight, agrees. He has no idea what he will find there.
Author’s Notes: This is one of my “From Samhain to the Solstice” series, chaptered fics being posted between Halloween and the winter solstice. This is the second part of the “Heir and Horcrux” series, and will probably have three parts, to be posted over the next few days.

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Title: As My Lord Wishes
Disclaimer: J. K. Rowling and associates own these characters. I am writing this story for fun and not profit.
Pairing: Harry/Theodore Nott
Content Notes: Hogwarts “eighth year,” humor, fluff, present tense
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 1300
Summary: After the war, Theo Nott is not only seeking Harry out when he never did before, he’s referring to him as his lord. It’s driving Harry mental.
Author’s Notes: This is one of my “Solstitial Shorts,” shorter fics being posted between Halloween and the winter solstice.

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Title: Ravished By Life
Disclaimer: J. K. Rowling and associates own these characters. I am writing this for fun and not profit.
Pairing: Harry/Abraxas Malfoy
Content Notes: Angst
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 1100
Summary: A mysterious force has chased the Malfoys out of their Manor. Auror Harry Potter, brought in to investigate, finds the impossible in a glittering room.
Author’s Notes: This is one of my Solstitial Shorts, very short stories being posted between Halloween and the winter solstice.

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