lomonaaeren

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Chapter Twenty-Six—At the Heart

Harry had never known that someone simply touching him could feel so good.

Of course, he’d never had someone touch him like this before, or look at him with such devotion. But he was still surprised at the depth of his pleasure, and the depth of his surprise.

Theo leaned above him on his elbows, staring down into Harry’s face, panting. His chest rose and fell, and their chests brushed together, and Harry reached up and laid a hand gently on Theo’s skin. The roar of his heart made Harry smile and tilt his head back so they could continue their kiss.

Theo kissed him as if he were the only food Theo would ever need, his hand reaching out, slipping, fingers tracing around Harry’s cock. Harry bucked in Theo’s grip, but that only made Theo’s hand close around him more firmly.

He won’t be scared off.

Even when Harry opened his eyes and saw the silvery snake of his magic entwining in the air above Theo’s shoulders, he didn’t think his—boyfriend—person—would be scared off. He did lay his hand on Theo’s face and lean up to whisper into his ear, though.

“Are you ready?”

“Yes, Harry. Yes.”

The words punched through the last of Harry’s doubts. No, he had never imagined that he would have someone who would want to touch him and look at him like this, but Theo’s voice was filled with devotion.

So Harry drew back, to finally get a proper look at Theo, who had given himself to Harry.

*

Harry was beautiful.

Of course he was thin, but that just meant that Theo could make out his muscles. His scars were the sign of his survival. His bare skin was achingly warm, and Theo trailed a hand over it and down to stroke Harry’s cock again while thinking that he had never seen anything he wanted to touch more.

And Harry was breathing quickly, but not running away. He had bared himself in front of Theo as a sign of his ultimate trust.

For someone like Harry, with all he had gone through, to do that, to trust Theo to touch him and love him and take care of him—

Theo swallowed. There was a hot lump in his throat, but he had no idea what it would be if he let it out. Certainly not tears, as some absurd part of his mind suggested.

“I want to suck you,” he whispered to Harry, with no idea what words would come out of his throat until he’d spoken them.

Harry stared at him, his mouth a little open. Theo fought back his nervousness. Harry was probably just surprised that Thoe had even offered. He wasn’t—he wouldn’t pull back and say that this had been a mistake.

And, in fact, he didn’t. He just said, “You what?” in a disbelieving tone as sharp as the jutting line of his shoulders.

“I want to suck your cock.”

Theo could feel his face turning red, but there was a power in repeating the words. He held Harry’s eyes and tried to put all the memories of the time they had spent together in his eyes. How Theo had run beside him from Hogwarts, and vowed to help Harry in his war, and confronted Voldemort and Riddle with him, and—

How Harry had shown him the error of his ways on that broom, even.

Harry’s chest rose and fell again. His cock bobbed with it, and Theo couldn’t help looking at it, at its length and red color, hot as July.

“Okay,” Harry breathed.

Theo blinked, the words taking a long moment to roost in his mind. Then he smiled and slid down Harry’s body towards his groin.

“You won’t regret this,” he whispered, and took Harry’s cock in his mouth before either of them could change their minds.

*

Oh, Merlin.

Harry’s head flew back against the pillow behind him the minute Theo’s mouth closed around his cock. There was warmth, and sweetness, and heat, and pleasure, and wetness, so much heat, so much—

“Harry, are you all right?”

Harry blinked and took a long moment to realize that the sensations had gone away. Then he flushed as deeply as Theo had when asking if he could suck Harry’s cock, and sat up. “Yeah, sorry. I—I’ve never had anyone do that before, you know?”

“If you had, I would have worried about the experience.”

“No one could be better than you, Theo.”

“No.” Theo reached up to smooth his hand along Harry’s side, over his ribs, his fingers spread as if counting them. “I would have worried that someone had used the situation to trick you or break your heart, considering the amount of bullying that went on in Slytherin against you—before.”

Harry caught Theo’s hand and kissed his palm. Then he lay back and spread his legs again. “I’d really like it if you’d go back.”

“And your reactions?”

“Unless I scream for you to stop, let’s just assume that I’m having a really good time, all right?”

Theo laughed at him, a soft, gentle noise that sounded more like a pant of desire, and then lowered his head. Harry saw a wicked smile on his face in the moment before Theo’s tongue curled around him and swallowed him down.

Harry’s head promptly banged against the pillow again. But at least this time he could keep his control as he felt Theo’s tongue stroke over him, and swallow him, and lick him, and caress him.

It was warm. It felt better than anything he’d felt in his life.

But he would keep his head, and not worry Theo.

It turned out to be a lot harder to keep his hips still than it was not to worry Theo. Harry writhed and made soft urgent noises and tossed his head back. His fingers curled into the sheets so hard that they hurt. His focus narrowed to his groin, his bollocks drawing up so tightly, the finger that Theo reached up and ran along the bottom of his cock towards his arse—

Harry lost it before he could even think of a warning.

Long jets of warmth pulsed out of him, and he gave a faint cry that he knew wasn’t impressive. Then he was left panting in the wake of it, and Theo was drawing back and wiping white stuff off his chin.

“Um,” Harry said, somehow summoning the words through the deep warmth that had spread through him. Like lying under a summer sun. “I fucked up.”

“No, I consider it a compliment,” Theo murmured, and bent down to kiss him. Harry returned it eagerly, curling his fingers into Theo’s hair and tugging. Theo was panting by the time he drew back. “And now we have to think about what we want to do next. Do you want to suck mine?”

Harry shivered. He wanted the warmth and weight on his tongue, the sensation of returning what Theo had given him, making him feel that good.

But he wanted something else, too.

“Why don’t I suck you for a little while? Then you fuck me.”

Theo’s jaw dropped open. Harry braced himself to roll off the bed and run away. That had been a stupid, graceless, stupid way of offering—

But then he saw the way that Theo’s eyes were raking over his body, the heat and the hunger in them, and he calmed down a little. No, it seemed that Theo really liked that idea, honestly. Harry smiled up at him and dared to spread his legs again, arching his back and clasping his hands behind his head.

“So you want to,” he said, and did something he wanted to before he could think of how embarrassed it would make him. He lifted his arse in the air, bracing his heels against the sheets to do it.

“Oh, Merlin, do I,” Theo whispered, the words almost a benediction. He reached out and turned Harry’s head towards him, bending down to kiss him. His cock brushed against Harry’s stomach, and Harry shuddered all over.

“But you want your cock sucked first?”

“If you wouldn’t mind.”

Harry smiled and kissed Theo, absorbing the foreign salty taste in his mouth, and then slid down the bed. He was going to make this as good as he could for Theo, even though he’d never done it before.

But he had to make it just good enough that Theo wouldn’t actually come. Then both of them would have to wait so that they could do what they wanted to do next, and honestly, Harry didn’t want to.

He thought both of them had had enough of waiting for what they desired.

*

Harry looked nervously up at Theo as he opened his mouth.

Theo wondered what in the world Harry thought he had to be nervous about. Did he think Theo would want to do this with anyone else? Ever again?

But then, Harry wouldn’t have had any chance to experience this.

Theo watched, enthralled, as Harry carefully closed his lips around Theo and sucked. Then he sucked again. And again.

Theo touched Harry’s hair and made himself concentrate on the texture of it, the feel of it sliding through his fingers, the color of it against his own skin, to avoid coming right away. He’d thought it would be intense.

He knew now that he hadn’t realized the meaning of that word.

He tossed his head back, taking shallow breaths, and continued stroking Harry’s hair. He wasn’t going to grip and pull, no matter how much he wanted to. He was going to slow it down. He was going to take his time.

But there was still so much pleasure, and so much happiness that it was Harry doing this to him, and that he had fallen in love and Harry had fallen in love back—

Even sooner than he’d thought he would have to, Theo reached down to nudge Harry’s cheek with the back of his hand. “Sorry, love, but I’m going to come if you keep doing that,” he whispered, when Harry’s eyes blinked up at him, filled with light.

Harry nodded and sat back, lifting a hand to wipe at his mouth. Theo reached out and caught his hand, bringing it close enough to suck at Harry’s fingers. Harry flushed and stared at him with those shining eyes.

“No regrets?” Theo whispered. “You haven’t changed your mind?”

“I can’t imagine wanting anyone but you this way, Theo.”

Theo smiled and drew Harry to him, kissing him deeply as he positioned Harry above him. Harry blinked at him. Theo whispered, “It might be more comfortable to have you down on your knees, but I thought—”

“No, this is perfect.”

Harry’s magic was dancing around them in silver serpents, coiling like the filigree designs Theo had seen around some of his mother’s portrait frames, unique and beautiful. Theo shuddered and lifted his head for a kiss, Harry obliged him, leaning down and balancing with one hand on Theo’s chest.

“You want me to ready you?” Theo asked softly, his fingers slipping back towards Harry’s arse.

“Yeah.”

Harry seemed to hold his breath as Theo conjured lube and reached inside him, but the breath escaped him again in a little rush, because he’d probably felt that it wasn’t anything very intrusive. In fact, he laughed a little as Theo slipped one finger in and wiggled it around.

“Ticklish there?”

“Just doesn’t feel like anything I’ve—felt before. Oh.”

Theo waited as Harry caught his breath again, but he was leaning back, his hips working, his eyes closed, his head tilting. He already looked as wild and beautiful as his own magic, caught up in the thrill of it, and Theo had barely touched him.

What will it be like when I do?

Theo stole a kiss and pushed his fingers more deeply inside, more firmly. Harry yelped and rocked, and looked a little wistful when he opened his eyes. Theo knew he asked a silent question, because Harry shook his head and replied, “Just mourning all the years when I never knew how good that felt. I would have experimented a lot more with my own fingers and my wandless magic if I knew. What’s wrong?”

Theo knew his face had gone dreamy, but he managed to choke the words out. “Someday, I want to watch you fuck yourself on your magic.”

Harry’s eyes glinted. “You can imagine that, or you can feel me.” And he moved and sat down on Theo’s cock, grasping and bending it slightly, before Theo could even absorb the implications of those words.

Theo held Harry’s hips and kept him still. Harry chuckled and sat that way, his gaze on Theo’s face, drinking in every one of his expressions.

Oh. Oh.

Theo hadn’t done this before. He’d imagined it, and he’d played with himself, and he’d experimented with a few of the seventh-years before, who were leaving Hogwarts and had no interest in passing on gossip. But even if he had fucked someone else, he knew, it wouldn’t have felt like it did with Harry.

Like having his cock enveloped in the brightest and sweetest and hottest of bonfires.

“All right?” Harry whispered, stretching his back. He was starting to rock as if he couldn’t help himself, taking in Theo’s cock with long, deep strokes.

“All right,” Theo said, and smoothed his hands up Harry’s hips. He didn’t say anything aloud, but Harry seemed to take that as permission to move.

And it was. Oh, it was.

Harry’s rocking was nothing short of brilliant, in everything from the heat around Theo’s cock to the red light he saw when he shut his eyes. Harry was making soft noises under his breath, what sounded almost like chanting, but the sounds never emerged into actual grunts or moans or words. He just reached out and clutched Theo’s shoulders, and Theo clutched him back, shivering a little as he pushed deeper and deeper, as Harry ducked his head and hid his face in Theo’s skin, as he felt Harry nip and bite at him gently.

As he felt Harry come.

The terrific pull of it, accompanied by a small gasp from Harry and the wet sensation on his chest, pulled Theo right after him. He shuddered and bucked up into his lover, and Harry laughed softly in encouragement.

Then it was over, and Theo crashed back into his body as if dropped from a great height. He managed to wrap his arms around Harry and roll over, where they lay together, dazed and breathless. Theo closed his eyes.

“Are you going to sleep?”

“We can if you want,” Theo said, a little startled at how awake Harry sounded. He looked again. Harry was lying next to him with a smug little smile on his face, one hand resting on Theo’s chest as if it had always been there. “You—want to stay awake?”

“I think you should sleep, if you want. I just want to watch you.”

Theo didn’t have words for that. He settled for a kiss instead, one that was long enough and deep enough to probably steal most of the breath Harry had left over for pronouncements. After that, he curled close enough to wrap himself around Harry, defending him with his body in case something happened, and slipped into slumber.

He had the happiest dreams he could ever remember having.

*

Harry shifted a little. His arse hurt, true, the way he had always heard whispers in Slytherin about the way it would the first time someone did that to someone else. But it didn’t matter. He was smug with it, honestly, smug that he’d caused Theo to lose control and fuck him like that.

And they could do it again, and again, and again. No one was going to take it away from them or come between them.

Harry clutched Theo closer to him. Only a few months ago, he had thought he would spend the rest of his life alone. Or at least the rest of his life at Hogwarts alone. He had dreamed about finding people who would love him, but he had thought they would all need to be outside of Britain.

Now they had—

Something deep. Something special.

And it was with one of the Slytherins who had bullied him. Whom Harry would have said was going to be a forever enemy if anyone had asked him.

But they hadn’t asked. Harry had walked free of that on his own, unknowingly changing Theo as a person when he’d thought he was just getting revenge.

Harry put his head down on Theo’s shoulder and closed his eyes. He didn’t sleep, though, these moments so precious and fleeting that he didn’t want to miss any of them.

*

Sirius stared at the book in front of him. It was from the Notts’ library, but it had the exact same spell as one of the books in the Black library did, a spell that he’d thought his mother had invented.

“You look upset.”

Sirius still wasn’t used to Helios Nott just appearing behind him, especially given that he moved with a cane. But Sirius turned and waved his hand. “I thought that my family created some of the stupidly Dark stuff, but why’s it here if they did?”

“Perhaps they created it at some point in the past, and a Black who married a Nott brought it with them. Did you have a date for when the spell you’re referencing was incanted into being?”

“Yeah. Supposedly my mother did it.”

Helios Nott had a quiet, croaking laugh that reminded Sirius of the way a raven would sound lingering over a corpse, but Sirius supposed it wasn’t actually his fault. “Ah. Yes, I don’t believe that it would ever occur to her to invent a spell.”

Sirius nodded. He didn’t know that much about spellcrafting, but it required endless patience to test and explore, rather like advanced Potions brewing. No one who had ever met his mother could accuse her of being patient.

“You know that she’s dead?”

“It’s one of the first things Andromeda told me. Yes. Dead for more than ten years now.”

Helios watched him. Sirius stared back. He wondered if Nott was waiting for some expression of grief, the sort of thing a proper pureblood son would say about his parents.

Finally, Helios said slowly, “You have first claim on anything she left behind, including books and artifacts and money. And the house that I used to visit when I was in school with your father.”

“Yeah.” Sirius rolled his shoulders. To be candid, he hadn’t thought much about what he was going to do with Grimmauld Place. Or any other house a relative might have left him, since some of them wouldn’t care he was in Azkaban for supposed crimes against the Potters and Muggles and a friend. They might have left it to Bellatrix instead, admittedly.

“If you would let me have first pick of those artifacts…”

Sirius waited, but Helios didn’t continue. He finally sighed and shook his head. “If you want them, you can have them.”

“You would mean that?”

“Yeah, of course. I never had any real attachment to them. They should always have gone to my brother.” Sirius couldn’t help darting a look at Helios’s left arm as he spoke. The man’s mocking smile told Sirius he’d noticed it.

“And I thought my son would follow in my footsteps in his devotion to the Dark Lord, but those are not the times we’re living in.” Helios gave a shrug that seemed to splash an invisible load of water on the floor. “Yes, I’d like to see them. I’d be grateful.”

Sirius nodded. He needed Helios’s gratitude a lot more than he did old magical artifacts collected from his Black ancestors. “Fine. We’ll go to Grimmauld Place sometime next week. In the meantime, can you tell me what kinds of spells would be useful for contacting a spirit who departed years ago?”

“Not that book,” Helios said decisively. “You’ll need one from a different corner of the library.” And he turned and walked towards a set of shelves Sirius had avoided precisely because of the threatening Dark aura they projected.

Sirius hid a sigh and followed. He and Nott made strange allies, but he could think of them as both doing the best they could for the boys they loved.

And that’s enough.