This is GORGEOUS. It makes me want to frame it and hang it on the wall. So lyrical and almost light in sound--though very heavy in theme; what a balance you managed to achieve, contrasting what to many readers is whimsical (the couplets) with such a dark concept and an uncomprehending Harry. Blame Dr. Seuss and his use of various tetrameters for making everyone associate anything that rhymes with fluffiness and marshmallows and bunnies.
The POV work at the end was really well written. I can only imagine how long that must have taken to write: either a very long time, or no time at all.
Ah, the reason I don't like bottom! or top! fests with any characters...it gives me expectations and predictions, like the fact that the black-haired body would end up sprawled over the blond body. I also felt like Harry asking for full penetrative sex at the end was kind of...awkward. Then again, you might have meant it that way.
All in all, quite a wild ride of a fic. Certainly would love to see the POV mess again. And fyi, you said "...this is non-linear like hell" and all I could imagine was a fic with curves and without a derivative at some point. Silly math class.
Can't wait for the next update/thingy you want to post. -Jolene
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2009-11-18 07:06 am (UTC)The POV work at the end was really well written. I can only imagine how long that must have taken to write: either a very long time, or no time at all.
Ah, the reason I don't like bottom! or top! fests with any characters...it gives me expectations and predictions, like the fact that the black-haired body would end up sprawled over the blond body. I also felt like Harry asking for full penetrative sex at the end was kind of...awkward. Then again, you might have meant it that way.
All in all, quite a wild ride of a fic. Certainly would love to see the POV mess again. And fyi, you said "...this is non-linear like hell" and all I could imagine was a fic with curves and without a derivative at some point. Silly math class.
Can't wait for the next update/thingy you want to post.
-Jolene