![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lomonaaerenTitle: Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Runemaster
Disclaimer: J. K. Rowling and associates own these characters. I am writing this story for fun and not profit.
Pairing: Harry/Theo
Content Notes: Present tense, parallel to another fic, violence, implied child abuse, implied torture, AU (Neville is the Boy-Who-Lived), runemaster Harry, angst, suicidal thoughts
Rating: R
Wordcount: This part 2000
Summary: After his fourth year, when he was desperately trying to research some way that he can be free of the threat of someday being given the Dark Mark, Theodore stumbles across a rune that might help him. And eventually, a runemaster. Thirteen vignettes of Theodore’s relationship with Harry during and after Forget-Me-Not.
Author’s Notes: This is one of my “Theo/Harry Confectionary” short fics being posted between the first of December and the winter solstice. It will have four or five parts. The title and the individual section titles are based on Wallace Stevens’s poem “Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird.” Scenes take place during and after Forget-Me-Not, a fic where a powerful charm cast on Harry goes wild and makes people unable to see or remember him except when directly interacting with him or reading something about or by him. This fic won’t make much sense without reading that one.
Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Runemaster
The Only Moving Thing
Theodore stares dully at the owl landing in front of him with a letter. It’s an anonymous tawny owl, meaning that it could be from Hogwarts, the Ministry, a relative, a “friend” in Slytherin, or almost anyone else.
He sighs and reaches for it. His eyes are bleary from staying up late the night before searching, as usual, for a way to resist the Dark Mark if it’s ever inflicted on him.
At least Father isn’t at the breakfast table this morning to ask him questions about his tiredness, or the letter.
When Theodore opens it, it turns out to be a packet of—notes? They look like research notes. Theodore eyes it in mystification, and then glances down and sees the rune, like a mountain range with tendrils and crows, on the parchment.
His breath catches so quickly he coughs.
He’s seen this drawing once before, on a piece of parchment in the library. Someone he couldn’t see—can’t remember—was researching the drawing. There was something about it being on the base of the Goblet of Fire. But the person hid themselves effectively, or maybe even Obliviated Theodore. He sure doesn’t remember anything past that.
He was interested in the rune because it looked powerful, and protective, and like some other runes he was studying to try and keep himself safe from the war. But he didn’t remember it until now.
Maybe it’s just because he concentrated so hard on other research.
No. He remembers forgetting about it.
What a peculiar feeling.
Theodore scans the notes quickly. They’re about the experiments the unknown runemaster performed, and how the rune can protect and heal, but how he doesn’t know everything about it, and he wants to warn Theodore that using it might be unwise.
Theodore doesn’t bloody care if it’s unwise. He knows the Dark Lord is back. He knows that Father has had a burst of ambition to make his son the youngest Death Eater ever Marked.
Theodore knows that he won’t survive it. Because the Dark Lord will kill him when he discovers what disloyal thoughts are in Theodore’s head. Or because it will kill the parts of himself that Theodore values most.
Or because he’ll kill himself.
There’s always that route. It’s the one he was thinking most about.
Now, he thinks, staring at the rune, there might be another road.
He swallows. He has to test it. But if it works…
If it works, then he owes a debt.
*
Theodore isn’t stupid enough to carve the rune directly into his flesh. What he does do is ink the symbol on it with the most powerful Binding Charm he can find applied to the ink, and then he picks up his wand and tries to slice that part of his arm with a Cutting Curse.
Nothing happens.
Theodore raises the strength of the Cutting Curse. Still, nothing happens.
Dazed, staring at the rune, he calls for a house-elf, and it brings him an enchanted knife without question. Theodore cuts into the rune, which shimmers for a moment and then rebounds the knife. The slight damage he caused heals as he watches, the skin knitting shut without a scar and the wound vanishing.
There’s one more test that he’s going to make. After all, the Dark Mark is more powerful than a curse or a knife. And in his study of it and his eager absorption of his father’s tales—just not for the reasons Teyrnon Nott thinks—Theodore has managed to learn how to create a partial replica of the Mark.
He does it now, and he does it, recklessly, on the lower part of his arm, where the rune doesn’t cover.
For a moment, he thinks it’s going to take. He can see the snake and skull chewing into his skin, and he screams from the pain, sagging to his knees—
And then the mark vanishes, a shimmering tendril seeming to reach out from the rune. In seconds, the mark Theodore has created is gone.
There’s silence in the room aside from the crackling of the fire.
Then Theodore sinks to his knees, and weeps,
*
Theodore waits until he’s back at school to send his reply to the runemaster. He met him in the Hogwarts library, after all. There’s every chance that it’s another Hogwarts student—maybe a professor, but Theodore remembers enough of his voice to think it was a student—and Theodore is uneasy enough about sending an owl with a letter to “the runemaster who gave me the rune” that he doesn’t want to make it fly too far.
Thank you. It works.
That’s all the note says on the front. Theodore can’t explain what the rune means to him. He can’t explain how this runemaster is a bloody genius, and also kind of foolish, just sharing his work with someone who might take advantage of him. But mostly a genius.
On the back, though, Theodore writes another message.
I don’t know why you wanted to keep your name concealed, unless you’re worried about coming to the notice of my father or the Dark Lord. But be reassured, I do not forget.
Theodore owes a debt to this runemaster. It’s the kind of thing that he won’t forget. It’s the kind of weight that might eventually become a stone around his neck.
But in the meantime, he will stand ready to assist the runemaster in every way possible.
Of Three Minds
When Dolores Umbridge comes staggering into breakfast in the Great Hall and confesses that she’s been using a Blood Quill on students and had many other nefarious plans, Theodore immediately knows it’s as a result of the runic circle that he saw on a bit of parchment in the library one day.
His runemaster is doing something about Umbridge.
He clenches his right hand, which is covered with the words I will not speak back to the Defense professor. He thinks that showing the scars to his runemaster—whoever they are, whom Theodore only knows about the existence of because he sometimes sees the parchments he’s working on and once heard his voice—prompted that bloody genius to act against Umbridge.
Theodore watches Umbridge be enveloped in a Privacy Charm that Dumbledore casts, and snorts. If the Headmaster cared as much about his students as he does about her privacy, then they might have solved this problem months ago.
He scans the tables around him intensely, looking for a student who’s smirking or smiling in a way that would indicate thoughtful knowledge instead of good cheer that Umbridge has been vanquished.
He can’t find anyone. Or rather, there are too many candidates.
Theodore is growing increasingly frustrated that he can’t locate his runemaster. What can he be using? A Disillusionment Charm? But that wouldn’t explain why Theodore hasn’t seen him in Ancient Runes class, where he must surely be.
Or is it someone utterly forgettable, whom Theodore ignores in class and who only hides in the library?
Theodore doesn’t really believe that, though. Among other things, that kind of genius tends to shine out. Professor Babbling wouldn’t let his runemaster hide it, would insist on praising him, and then Theodore would know about him.
Work with him.
Pay this bloody debt.
(It’s true that when he showed his scars in the library, he admitted that he would help with Umbridge but still consider himself as owing a debt. But if he knew who his runemaster is, then he would be able to know what they would consider payment in another way).
But although Theodore wants the debt gone, most of all, he wants to be able to look into his runemaster’s eyes, hear his voice, thank him, hold onto him.
That kind of genius is worth following.
*
As he listens to Dumbledore make an inane announcement about how he knows that someone forced Umbridge’s confession and it’s a problem, Theodore is of three minds.
He could just keep quiet and stay out of it. No one would ever think he knew about it. He’s only one of many students scarred by Umbridge’s Blood Quill, and some are a lot more vocally outraged about it. That would be the least troublesome for Theodore personally.
He could tell what he knows, that it was probably a runic circle that made Umbridge confess. Then he might be put on the track of his runemaster. It would be considered treachery in some ways, and would increase the debt that Theodore owes, but he doesn’t know if he’ll ever meet his runemaster otherwise.
Or he could speak up in defense of his runemaster. It would be more trouble than option one, wouldn’t get him the immediate results that option two would, but would also show his loyalty.
Perhaps he would encourage someone who knows his genius is appreciated to step forwards then.
“Somehow, someone used magic to force Madam Umbridge to confess.” Dumbledore’s voice is soft and grave as he looks around at everyone, even the professors. Theodore curls his lips. Like Dumbledore would punish them. “While it has worked out to our advantage, and she was guilty, that is an act that is heinous, in many ways no better than the Imperius Curse, which I know every student from second year on up is familiar with.”
Ringing silence, while Theodore stares at Dumbledore in disbelief. This is as bad as the Imperius Curse? What does he consider a Blood Quill, then? Why didn’t he act against her for that?
“If anyone knows anything about the circumstances leading up to Madam Umbridge’s confession,” Dumbledore continues in a softer voice than before, “please come and talk to me. I promise that no one will be expelled, arrested, or otherwise mistreated for what they tell me.”
Yeah, right.
But Dumbledore’s words quell the conflict in Theodore. His runemaster would be arrested or expelled if Theodore came forwards with what he knows. Theodore has no doubt of it. And he also absolutely believes that he cannot sit here in silence and listen to Dumbledore disparage the genius Theodore owes his freedom to, and his safety twice over.
He raises his hand.
Some of his Housemates turn to stare at him. Theodore ignores them. For one thing, he is going to do this, and their opinions don’t matter to him at all. For another, he doubts his runemaster is among them.
The thought that he might have lived in the same House for four years as someone who would fight to protect him and never realized it is intolerable.
“Yes, Mr. Nott?” Dumbledore sounds hopeful.
Theodore puts his hand down and says calmly, “I think, sir, that you should leave whoever did this alone. They got rid of an enemy to Hogwarts and the students who go to school here, and that’s all that really matters, doesn’t it?”
Dumbledore frowns, because of course he does. His next words aren’t a surprise, either. “While they did get rid of Professor Umbridge, Mr. Nott, they did so in an unethical manner.”
Theodore shrugs and forces himself to look insouciant about it. “With the Ministry behind her, probably no one could get rid of Umbridge in an ethical manner, Headmaster. I for one applaud whoever it was.” And he sits back and picks up his glass of pumpkin juice.
Dumbledore looks around and seems to decide that he won’t get any support, given the waves of nods and voices corroborating Theodore’s. He sits down, and Theodore goes back to look at tables. The Ravenclaw table, this time. The mastery of runes he’s looking for would fit well with the House of cleverness.
Wit. Knowledge. But also paired with a compassion that Theodore has never experienced before.
Where are you? Can’t you see that I would give you everything?
Disclaimer: J. K. Rowling and associates own these characters. I am writing this story for fun and not profit.
Pairing: Harry/Theo
Content Notes: Present tense, parallel to another fic, violence, implied child abuse, implied torture, AU (Neville is the Boy-Who-Lived), runemaster Harry, angst, suicidal thoughts
Rating: R
Wordcount: This part 2000
Summary: After his fourth year, when he was desperately trying to research some way that he can be free of the threat of someday being given the Dark Mark, Theodore stumbles across a rune that might help him. And eventually, a runemaster. Thirteen vignettes of Theodore’s relationship with Harry during and after Forget-Me-Not.
Author’s Notes: This is one of my “Theo/Harry Confectionary” short fics being posted between the first of December and the winter solstice. It will have four or five parts. The title and the individual section titles are based on Wallace Stevens’s poem “Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird.” Scenes take place during and after Forget-Me-Not, a fic where a powerful charm cast on Harry goes wild and makes people unable to see or remember him except when directly interacting with him or reading something about or by him. This fic won’t make much sense without reading that one.
Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Runemaster
The Only Moving Thing
Theodore stares dully at the owl landing in front of him with a letter. It’s an anonymous tawny owl, meaning that it could be from Hogwarts, the Ministry, a relative, a “friend” in Slytherin, or almost anyone else.
He sighs and reaches for it. His eyes are bleary from staying up late the night before searching, as usual, for a way to resist the Dark Mark if it’s ever inflicted on him.
At least Father isn’t at the breakfast table this morning to ask him questions about his tiredness, or the letter.
When Theodore opens it, it turns out to be a packet of—notes? They look like research notes. Theodore eyes it in mystification, and then glances down and sees the rune, like a mountain range with tendrils and crows, on the parchment.
His breath catches so quickly he coughs.
He’s seen this drawing once before, on a piece of parchment in the library. Someone he couldn’t see—can’t remember—was researching the drawing. There was something about it being on the base of the Goblet of Fire. But the person hid themselves effectively, or maybe even Obliviated Theodore. He sure doesn’t remember anything past that.
He was interested in the rune because it looked powerful, and protective, and like some other runes he was studying to try and keep himself safe from the war. But he didn’t remember it until now.
Maybe it’s just because he concentrated so hard on other research.
No. He remembers forgetting about it.
What a peculiar feeling.
Theodore scans the notes quickly. They’re about the experiments the unknown runemaster performed, and how the rune can protect and heal, but how he doesn’t know everything about it, and he wants to warn Theodore that using it might be unwise.
Theodore doesn’t bloody care if it’s unwise. He knows the Dark Lord is back. He knows that Father has had a burst of ambition to make his son the youngest Death Eater ever Marked.
Theodore knows that he won’t survive it. Because the Dark Lord will kill him when he discovers what disloyal thoughts are in Theodore’s head. Or because it will kill the parts of himself that Theodore values most.
Or because he’ll kill himself.
There’s always that route. It’s the one he was thinking most about.
Now, he thinks, staring at the rune, there might be another road.
He swallows. He has to test it. But if it works…
If it works, then he owes a debt.
*
Theodore isn’t stupid enough to carve the rune directly into his flesh. What he does do is ink the symbol on it with the most powerful Binding Charm he can find applied to the ink, and then he picks up his wand and tries to slice that part of his arm with a Cutting Curse.
Nothing happens.
Theodore raises the strength of the Cutting Curse. Still, nothing happens.
Dazed, staring at the rune, he calls for a house-elf, and it brings him an enchanted knife without question. Theodore cuts into the rune, which shimmers for a moment and then rebounds the knife. The slight damage he caused heals as he watches, the skin knitting shut without a scar and the wound vanishing.
There’s one more test that he’s going to make. After all, the Dark Mark is more powerful than a curse or a knife. And in his study of it and his eager absorption of his father’s tales—just not for the reasons Teyrnon Nott thinks—Theodore has managed to learn how to create a partial replica of the Mark.
He does it now, and he does it, recklessly, on the lower part of his arm, where the rune doesn’t cover.
For a moment, he thinks it’s going to take. He can see the snake and skull chewing into his skin, and he screams from the pain, sagging to his knees—
And then the mark vanishes, a shimmering tendril seeming to reach out from the rune. In seconds, the mark Theodore has created is gone.
There’s silence in the room aside from the crackling of the fire.
Then Theodore sinks to his knees, and weeps,
*
Theodore waits until he’s back at school to send his reply to the runemaster. He met him in the Hogwarts library, after all. There’s every chance that it’s another Hogwarts student—maybe a professor, but Theodore remembers enough of his voice to think it was a student—and Theodore is uneasy enough about sending an owl with a letter to “the runemaster who gave me the rune” that he doesn’t want to make it fly too far.
Thank you. It works.
That’s all the note says on the front. Theodore can’t explain what the rune means to him. He can’t explain how this runemaster is a bloody genius, and also kind of foolish, just sharing his work with someone who might take advantage of him. But mostly a genius.
On the back, though, Theodore writes another message.
I don’t know why you wanted to keep your name concealed, unless you’re worried about coming to the notice of my father or the Dark Lord. But be reassured, I do not forget.
Theodore owes a debt to this runemaster. It’s the kind of thing that he won’t forget. It’s the kind of weight that might eventually become a stone around his neck.
But in the meantime, he will stand ready to assist the runemaster in every way possible.
Of Three Minds
When Dolores Umbridge comes staggering into breakfast in the Great Hall and confesses that she’s been using a Blood Quill on students and had many other nefarious plans, Theodore immediately knows it’s as a result of the runic circle that he saw on a bit of parchment in the library one day.
His runemaster is doing something about Umbridge.
He clenches his right hand, which is covered with the words I will not speak back to the Defense professor. He thinks that showing the scars to his runemaster—whoever they are, whom Theodore only knows about the existence of because he sometimes sees the parchments he’s working on and once heard his voice—prompted that bloody genius to act against Umbridge.
Theodore watches Umbridge be enveloped in a Privacy Charm that Dumbledore casts, and snorts. If the Headmaster cared as much about his students as he does about her privacy, then they might have solved this problem months ago.
He scans the tables around him intensely, looking for a student who’s smirking or smiling in a way that would indicate thoughtful knowledge instead of good cheer that Umbridge has been vanquished.
He can’t find anyone. Or rather, there are too many candidates.
Theodore is growing increasingly frustrated that he can’t locate his runemaster. What can he be using? A Disillusionment Charm? But that wouldn’t explain why Theodore hasn’t seen him in Ancient Runes class, where he must surely be.
Or is it someone utterly forgettable, whom Theodore ignores in class and who only hides in the library?
Theodore doesn’t really believe that, though. Among other things, that kind of genius tends to shine out. Professor Babbling wouldn’t let his runemaster hide it, would insist on praising him, and then Theodore would know about him.
Work with him.
Pay this bloody debt.
(It’s true that when he showed his scars in the library, he admitted that he would help with Umbridge but still consider himself as owing a debt. But if he knew who his runemaster is, then he would be able to know what they would consider payment in another way).
But although Theodore wants the debt gone, most of all, he wants to be able to look into his runemaster’s eyes, hear his voice, thank him, hold onto him.
That kind of genius is worth following.
*
As he listens to Dumbledore make an inane announcement about how he knows that someone forced Umbridge’s confession and it’s a problem, Theodore is of three minds.
He could just keep quiet and stay out of it. No one would ever think he knew about it. He’s only one of many students scarred by Umbridge’s Blood Quill, and some are a lot more vocally outraged about it. That would be the least troublesome for Theodore personally.
He could tell what he knows, that it was probably a runic circle that made Umbridge confess. Then he might be put on the track of his runemaster. It would be considered treachery in some ways, and would increase the debt that Theodore owes, but he doesn’t know if he’ll ever meet his runemaster otherwise.
Or he could speak up in defense of his runemaster. It would be more trouble than option one, wouldn’t get him the immediate results that option two would, but would also show his loyalty.
Perhaps he would encourage someone who knows his genius is appreciated to step forwards then.
“Somehow, someone used magic to force Madam Umbridge to confess.” Dumbledore’s voice is soft and grave as he looks around at everyone, even the professors. Theodore curls his lips. Like Dumbledore would punish them. “While it has worked out to our advantage, and she was guilty, that is an act that is heinous, in many ways no better than the Imperius Curse, which I know every student from second year on up is familiar with.”
Ringing silence, while Theodore stares at Dumbledore in disbelief. This is as bad as the Imperius Curse? What does he consider a Blood Quill, then? Why didn’t he act against her for that?
“If anyone knows anything about the circumstances leading up to Madam Umbridge’s confession,” Dumbledore continues in a softer voice than before, “please come and talk to me. I promise that no one will be expelled, arrested, or otherwise mistreated for what they tell me.”
Yeah, right.
But Dumbledore’s words quell the conflict in Theodore. His runemaster would be arrested or expelled if Theodore came forwards with what he knows. Theodore has no doubt of it. And he also absolutely believes that he cannot sit here in silence and listen to Dumbledore disparage the genius Theodore owes his freedom to, and his safety twice over.
He raises his hand.
Some of his Housemates turn to stare at him. Theodore ignores them. For one thing, he is going to do this, and their opinions don’t matter to him at all. For another, he doubts his runemaster is among them.
The thought that he might have lived in the same House for four years as someone who would fight to protect him and never realized it is intolerable.
“Yes, Mr. Nott?” Dumbledore sounds hopeful.
Theodore puts his hand down and says calmly, “I think, sir, that you should leave whoever did this alone. They got rid of an enemy to Hogwarts and the students who go to school here, and that’s all that really matters, doesn’t it?”
Dumbledore frowns, because of course he does. His next words aren’t a surprise, either. “While they did get rid of Professor Umbridge, Mr. Nott, they did so in an unethical manner.”
Theodore shrugs and forces himself to look insouciant about it. “With the Ministry behind her, probably no one could get rid of Umbridge in an ethical manner, Headmaster. I for one applaud whoever it was.” And he sits back and picks up his glass of pumpkin juice.
Dumbledore looks around and seems to decide that he won’t get any support, given the waves of nods and voices corroborating Theodore’s. He sits down, and Theodore goes back to look at tables. The Ravenclaw table, this time. The mastery of runes he’s looking for would fit well with the House of cleverness.
Wit. Knowledge. But also paired with a compassion that Theodore has never experienced before.
Where are you? Can’t you see that I would give you everything?
