I think I see what you mean, but still, trust me that on point 1) there's a problem. First of all in real life no sickness ever bothers to read the textbook and develop according its description. It always has a quirk typical for one patient only and that's it. Now considering that Harry has a long streak of history defying magical laws it would be strange how a a curse centered on him and not only that but on many others would evolve by the book. ANnd the longer the time since the onset the harder to determine the initial time-frame, so this sounds a bit too comfortable to be realistic.
On point 2) I think so far it sounds unconvincing that a spell that binds two people to such an extend is legal and not restricted on some level. I realise that Harry chose to stay at the Ministry to use the sources, but still I am not sold on the idea that weighing someone with not only his unsolved emotional baggage but someone else's will in any way help in the described situation. It sounds like too weak an excuse to me.
3) OK, I guess this way it'll work, especially if you go the way with a kidnapped grandchild of a Wizengamot member (and the member doesn't even need to be Umbridge-type, their desperation to get their grandchild back would be enough of a urge and motive).
In the end the Head Auror will end up seeming like a very unbalanced character either too easily swayed by the media/Wizengamot (when a person in such a position should be used to dealing and managing such intervention and leverage). I am starting to not like her as soon as right now.
I seriously don't mean to be rude, but I love your works and I'd hate to see you write anything less than the quality you normally deliver. I even try to not offer anything as a possible solution as I'd hate to interfere. Still I wanted to be honest and say what doesn't work for me.
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Date: 2008-06-20 02:44 pm (UTC)On point 2) I think so far it sounds unconvincing that a spell that binds two people to such an extend is legal and not restricted on some level. I realise that Harry chose to stay at the Ministry to use the sources, but still I am not sold on the idea that weighing someone with not only his unsolved emotional baggage but someone else's will in any way help in the described situation. It sounds like too weak an excuse to me.
3) OK, I guess this way it'll work, especially if you go the way with a kidnapped grandchild of a Wizengamot member (and the member doesn't even need to be Umbridge-type, their desperation to get their grandchild back would be enough of a urge and motive).
In the end the Head Auror will end up seeming like a very unbalanced character either too easily swayed by the media/Wizengamot (when a person in such a position should be used to dealing and managing such intervention and leverage). I am starting to not like her as soon as right now.
I seriously don't mean to be rude, but I love your works and I'd hate to see you write anything less than the quality you normally deliver. I even try to not offer anything as a possible solution as I'd hate to interfere. Still I wanted to be honest and say what doesn't work for me.