You know, I believe this is your best/worst cliffhanger ever. Best as in most suspenseful and really made things hanging, where I, for one, have no clue as of what the significance of the last sentece was. Just where did the voice come from?! And worst because it is so freaking mysterious that I feel like I need to know what's going to happen next!
I thought that this line was interesting: No one can sustain that many personalities indefinitely. It’ll fracture you. In the end, it was her doing that things fell apart.
The confrontation was awesome. Of course I expected them judgmental, but not that much! I expected at least Hermione to be more supportive, and she seems to try to. But horribly fails as she only forces her own ways and doesn't try to understand. I guess all of your readers officially at least dislike Ron and Hermione now. I wonder what those two were thinking. We know what Harry thinks, as we got peeks into his mind and we know about his love for them. So, it is kind of unfair, I think, because we judge those two based on only what they're saying. I really hope their words do not reflect all they were thinking. A broken friendship with those two seems to be just the thing that Harry won't be able to handle. Even when not as himself. Ah, just how broken is it at the moment?
I kind of got upset about the fact that they don't seem to realise just how deep Harry's love is. How can they not see that? (I guess, it's again the unfairness of knowing only Harry's thoughts that makes me like this...) And this thing: My art taken away, my experiences, my strengths, my security, my job, my livelihood, my lives, Hermione doesn't understand at all, does she?
Ron was a very annoying person during first appearances. But now! He's just the kind of person you'd like to strangle on the spot, especially when he's spouting all those things. Or hit on the nose. Or throw in the ocean. Don't worry, I won't damage him too much. He'll still be in shape for Draco to have his turn with him...
... Oh, shatter!
I thought that this line was interesting:
No one can sustain that many personalities indefinitely. It’ll fracture you.
In the end, it was her doing that things fell apart.
The confrontation was awesome. Of course I expected them judgmental, but not that much! I expected at least Hermione to be more supportive, and she seems to try to. But horribly fails as she only forces her own ways and doesn't try to understand. I guess all of your readers officially at least dislike Ron and Hermione now. I wonder what those two were thinking. We know what Harry thinks, as we got peeks into his mind and we know about his love for them. So, it is kind of unfair, I think, because we judge those two based on only what they're saying. I really hope their words do not reflect all they were thinking. A broken friendship with those two seems to be just the thing that Harry won't be able to handle. Even when not as himself. Ah, just how broken is it at the moment?
I kind of got upset about the fact that they don't seem to realise just how deep Harry's love is. How can they not see that? (I guess, it's again the unfairness of knowing only Harry's thoughts that makes me like this...) And this thing: My art taken away, my experiences, my strengths, my security, my job, my livelihood, my lives, Hermione doesn't understand at all, does she?
Ron was a very annoying person during first appearances. But now! He's just the kind of person you'd like to strangle on the spot, especially when he's spouting all those things. Or hit on the nose. Or throw in the ocean. Don't worry, I won't damage him too much. He'll still be in shape for Draco to have his turn with him...
Great work!