I'm boldly jumping into this conversation, just because it's so interesting and between two people I like to talk with! Ditto on much -- especially the fest problem. My first fic included men wearing women's underwear and vampires -- neither of which I especially care to read, but wouldn't count as squicks. It ended up crackish, mostly so I could meet the requirements, but I doubt it was sexually "hot" to the recipient or anyone else, what I did with it.

I'm sad to hear about your abandoned fic, L, because I like your writing and suspect I would have liked it. I might have done the same, though. Is it possible to write a logical response and liberate yourself from the feeling, then go back to the fic?