For me, the attraction of a kink is that it is kinky.

I like the way you put that. I don't read as many PWPs or kinky stories as I used to, but when I did, there were times I was completely baffled or put off by something that I thought would be exciting. Rape as fluff is the most obvious example and is the main reason I tend to avoid non-con stories, but with things like BDSM, breathplay, bestiality, and so on, if there's really no tinge of the "certain tastes and needs" you mentioned and it's treated as completely common and- forgive the usage of the word- normal, how is writing it different from writing vanilla sex?