One of the bad aspects of HP fandom is that it's a very incestuous (in the "everybody influences everybody" way) community, so a lot of people do seem to write whiny bottom Draco not necessarily because they think it's a good idea, but because everyone else is doing it, and that's what gets read.

The makeover stories do puzzle me, especially the ones where Harry changes his name and the color of his hair and eyes permanently (and especially when the author starts referring to him by the new name. Alex and Salazar seem to be popular choices). If authors were attracted to the original Harry/Draco pairing, why alter Harry that much? Personality quirks are much more a matter of taste, and I can see why, for example, an author might want to explore Harry changing mightily as a result of PTSD, or Draco ten years after Hogwarts, when he's managed to redeem himself in his own mind and established a bunch of new connections with people who don't care about what he did during the war. But when the most basic things about the characters change, those things that are usually the same from story to story and are one of the basic signs that you're reading HP fanfiction, I can't really divine the author's purpose and thus can't connect to the story.

I really don't think Harry and Draco could have a calm relationship. They don't have to be fighting at every second, but it would still be volatile.